557 long day

edited something for the whole morning.

went to quiapo with charis, ate some butternut, went to pier south  with her  to buy that freaking vhs recorder for only P1200. man, you really should go there and see those long corridors full of big tv screens all showing the same thing. imagine walking down those long corridors. long shot. long take.low ambient sound. a wonderfully executed violin riff floating around. slo mo. oh, not slo mo. but beautiful. agh. and the thrill of finding a good deal. yeah! beats the amazing race. not!

got lost somewhere in kamuning. yeah yeah. where was that map i bought for P500 when i needed it?

met some new people around 10pm, and i actually enjoyed their company. one of those rare moments when i immediately got in tune with their line of thinking. although i must admit i was still a bit restrained about the things we talked about,because. yep, just because.

around 3am today, tears swelled in my eyes as a giant polar bear played with his toes in a field of pink flowers courtesy of NGC. to quote the narrator/director:

"...and that timeless image will forever be etched in my heart."

yes, a clicheic line but still something that manages to poke at me.

Hey, i know i'm a stubborn son, not the least like what other people really think of me(yeah those nice, harmless wawel thingie that they think about me), but still i know. by merit of me having accepted Christ years ago, i know that somehow i am entitled to witness/experience  something of such beauty. if i almost cried laying my eyes on  such a beautiful image, how much more for that something that is really meant  for me to marvel at and call mine.

i know, it might be years away from now. but even with just the thought of it, i can't hide my excitement. and for that i am already thanking God for it. haay.

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on a side note, i must say this:  human emotions are far more complex than what i thought it would be.

posted by moonbeam at September 28, 2004 04:16 | link | comments (3)

556

posted by moonbeam at September 22, 2004 05:11 | link | comments (1)

555 new family members

we now have a cat named muning (dont! hep! no comments on the name pls) and a new dog(our 3rd dog) named Tisoy.

muning's name is complicated, i'm telling you. you have to pronounce it in falsetto for him to respond. he plays like a dog, and he can type: zzxxxxxxxxx vvvvvvvv - see? such talent at such an early age.

Tisoy loves to play with muning. He loves to attempt swallowing Muning whole too. He loves to sing all day, and when Max the poodle(he's not bald anymore) hears him, you get to hear a duet. Tadi the wonder dog sometimes does the bass part.

welcome to the zoo.

thank heavens turtles dont bark.

xs: here's a freaky thought -> what if all our goldfish produce a very low HOBHOBHOB sound whenever they open their mouth? all 16 of them. plus the giant janitor fish squeaking everytime he does the french kiss with the aquarium wall.

posted by moonbeam at September 22, 2004 05:00 | link | comments (4)

554

i've met a lot of new people in the past few weeks, and spending time with them changed a part of me somehow(i got confused after reading this first sentence too).

i want to make a difference.

that was what i wanted way back when i was in college. I mean last year. when i stood and received that blank paper during our graduation. i want to make a difference. not in the manner of 'wawel made a difference because he was the first to ____'. No, I don't want to do something no one has ever done before. What i want is for my work to touch people, perhaps caress their hearts enough for them to act, or at the very least make them think of a better world. such a noble dream, yes it is.

i almost gave up on this dream. time came when my eyes were too focused on my other colleagues, when i measured myself by what others have achieved that i haven't. That was such a lonely bend in my road and right now i'm very thankful my God has pulled me out of there.Lord, remind me always that You have prepared a place for me in this world.

ah what am i talking about? i'm half asleep already. the point is, let it be known to all you my blog readers that pickled thoughts entry 554 is all about moonbeam's resolve to let God use him in His ministry. 554 is about moonbeam's decision to pursue things that are noble and life changing and God-pleasing and uplifting, even if it means staying away from the spotlight and into those dark and quiet rooms.

in the future when you hear about me enjoying fame and glory but only producing mundane things for all the world to see, please print this blog entry and slam it on my forehead. slam hard. don't hesitate.

i. am. serious.

posted by moonbeam at September 22, 2004 04:39 | link | comments (7)

553   listen.

i'm not going away.

there are many important things happening in me right now but i want to keep things at bay for a while. 

oh yes, i have this current project which requires me to report to them during office hours, so my vampire life is almost nonexistent, with me dozing off as early as 10pm.

last sunday night, i prayed for great things. 

before, i just asked God to lead me to that place in this world where He wants me to  stay. a humble prayer by a servant with an undirected passion.  but last sunday night was the first time that i actually really cried out to God for something.  i stood before Him with something in my hand and told Him what i want to do with it. 

i know, my heart might  eventually break again. but i'd rather have it broken than unused. 

( oist, for you people who know something about me, this is not only about that 'thingie'. this is about a lot of things about me, ok?hmp.)

i want to pour out everything here, but it's unwise. i think it's better to share it here after it's finished, no matter the outcome.

i might not update this blog for the next few weeks.  well, i will continue to upload photos and doodles,  but this particular conscious blogpage might hold its breath for a while. if u want a taste of me (haha.), maybe just go check my photoblog or doodleblog once in a while.

pray for me, will you?

oh, last one before i go.

last night there was a slight drizzle and i was walking down that long road. there were only two people there, moonbeam and an old  man walking in the same direction.  the old man was 5 paces ahead of me, and he had no umbrella. i had one. i had this urge to share my umbrella but i also fought it. i dont know why. it was one of the most excruciating feelings, fighting something 'noble' or 'good' or whatever one might call it. human nature.  to resist to do what is right. agh. several minutes of walking and fighting. then i did what one would really be ashamed of.

i overtook him and went home.

no analogy here.

bubye.

posted by moonbeam at September 01, 2004 09:56 | link | comments (4)