516

sometimes

the early morning silence
whispers a line
perhaps from a song
long forgotten
or an unwritten poem

and dances
with the footprints
of the rain that lost its way

tap
tap
tap

the leaf
sends a message
to the ground.

tap
tap
tap

and the leaf
waits for an answer.

posted by moonbeam at May 21, 2004 02:38 | link | comments (2)

515

the wind is moving but I am standing still. a life of pages waiting to be filled a heart that's hopeful a head that's full of dreams but this becoming is harder than it seems. feels like i'm looking for a reason roaming through the night to find my place in this world not a lot to lean on i need your light to help me find my place in this world

if there are millions down on their knees among the many can you still hear me? hear me asking where do I belong? is there a vision that I can call my own?

 

(m.smith)

 

posted by moonbeam at May 11, 2004 02:43 | link | comments (1)

514

It rained hard today.

 

Spiderdrops with their webs swinging from up the heavens scattered themselves everywhere on the road, each disappearing as quick as they fell.

 

With the electricity out, I am left to my own thoughts and I just realized that I miss quite a lot of things, some places, and a number of people. Sad to say, I have no way of finding some of them again.

 

There were these toys, which ala toy story have been my companions since we moved here in novaliches some 15 years ago. A comic book I finished way back when I was still in grade 3 (of course it’s not an original). The wallet I lost when I was in a sophomore in UP, with photos of some of my high school friends.

 

There was this puppy which my father set free in the large yard across our creek. I was still in my elementary days then. I never knew what happened to that poor leprous dog after that. Maybe he died a few days later, maybe not.

I miss devouring sticks of tukneneng from the small store across our high school campus. Coupled with their samalamig, it was the deserving break after a day’s class then. Sad to say the store is gone now, and an impersonal jollibee branch occupies that place.

 

Oh, and the people. I badly miss a lot of friends. Some I’ve never seen or heard from for years now. Some of them I meet regularly only through YM or talk with only through email. some I meet only randomly nowadays.

I want to be peter pan. Oh, I want everyone to be peter pan.

 

posted by moonbeam at May 11, 2004 02:14 | link | comments (3)

513

pinanganak akong walang tunog ang dighay.

minsan pag malungkot ako iinom ako ng coke tapos mangangarap akong sana dumighay ako ng malakas na malakas, yun bang parang ung mga ginagawa nitong mga lasenggo sa amin, palakasan pa sila ng dighay na parang ang dali dali gawin.

ako kasi, lalabas lang ang hangin, wala na. parang nagbuntung hininga lang. yun na yun? oo. ngek ano yun?

ah pero minsan naman nagugulat na lang ako kasi bigla bigla didighay ako ng may tunog. siguro minsan sa apat na buwan.

minsan naman bigla ako didighayin habang umiinom, kala ko nga minsan mamamatay na ko e,kasi mali ung pasok nung inumin. sabi ko patay, ampanget naman ng lalabas sa report pag mamatay ako ngayon, dahil lang sa coke na mali ang lagok ko. iba na nga ung tingin nung isang babae sa akin sa foodcourt nun e. kala niya siguro inaatake ako sa puso. maluha-luha pa ko. bakit ba, masakit naman talaga.

haay, sana pati problema dinidighay na lang natin. o inuutot. ayan, dyan ako expert sa pagpapatunog. kahit may tono pa gusto mo e.

hehe joklang.

posted by moonbeam at May 06, 2004 13:42 | link | comments (5)

512

a timid tornado of paper tissues and clover chip wrappers dance in one corner of the road and suddenly everyone pays attention to one of the greatest shows on earth. where the only fee is a smile to be passed to the person next to you. but the performer suddenly decides to elope with the imaginary music, and everyone resumes their own show.

under the heat of the sun, we are all strangers treading our own paths. living our own lives. maybe every now and then there's this particular moment where we suddenly have but  one road, one life to live. we suddenly have the same eyes. same breathe. soul. then just the slightest distraction, a car horn or a soda can being opened and this thin fragile line connecting everyone is broken.

under the heat of the sun the ice cream vendor is a walking contradiction. so is the old man selling sleeping mats.

i breathe slowly. one day at a time, moonbeam. one day at a time. things will soon fall into place. but until then, embrace the faith given to you. you are called to believe.

===
george winston's rainsong gently floats around me. may this remain for a week or two.

posted by moonbeam at May 06, 2004 13:02 | link | comments (2)

511

when you get to meet someone in a narrow alley, do you look up or do you look down?

i just realized i've always been looking down on the dirty road  whenever i meet people during rush hour. does this say something about my self esteem? i hope not. anyway, if ever you're in a rush hour and you meet someone awkwardly staring at you while walking, pardon.  perhaps it's just me pathetically trying to raise my self esteem. this phase shall pass.

posted by moonbeam at May 05, 2004 02:50 | link | comments (5)

510

when you have a lot of things to do, when you'd rather stay home and read something than go out with friends, when you don't drink, when most if not all of the time you'd rather stay silent than laugh,  when you just want to think,

you have no life.

and that is the lie of the century.

goodness. i feel like i'm back in the elementary days, surrounded by children who all think people should be this or that way to be cool. surrounded by children all laughing at you because you're reading robinson crusoe while everyone else is running around the classroom chasing each other.  fleeting thoughts, please eat me away now.

posted by moonbeam at May 02, 2004 08:58 | link | comments (11)